It is interesting that it has almost been a month to the day that I have come to my " to do " list…now alot has happened in the last month including the death of a close friend, Syd and my week in BC.  I recognize that I have gone through some of the grieving process, which has included my own moodiness, and at times, lack of energy. One of the challenges has been that I expected to be here for Christmas, as to allow time to be with Syd and now he is gone. That is not the only thing, as also have been in some conflict as to what being in Edmonton at Christmas means for me, how to be realistic and not nostalgic about it…Dealing with the "what is", not with the "what I would like it to be" or some image that is imposed by self or others of what it “ should be.’’ So it is the realization that I can plan to  participate in Christmas and Advent celebrations and what is meaningful to me...... that may mean solitary time but also time shared and giving to others. I am working on the 24th and "on call" for the following two days.

So on the list today was preparing 2008 Christmas tree on front deck and needing to thaw and settle overnight..hopefully still standing in the morning!